You have heard “Be the Change you Want to See” before. It might sound like a cliche but hear me out.
There are several reasons why this is a good idea.
First, we create the way others behave towards us. We teach them to treat us a certain way. So if we want respect, we must respect ourselves and respect others too. If we want people to stop judging us, we must first stop judging people.
Second, most people in life say they want to be a good person. If our intentions are to be a better person, we should behave in a way that we consider good without expecting anything back. There is no merit to being nice to someone if we are only doing it in order to get something out of them. That is called manipulation. When we are nice, the natural consequence is that they will be nicer, but that should not be our purpose. We should be nice anyway if our aim is to be a better person.
The truth is when we are frustrated with another person, we are often reacting to something that we carry in ourselves. But we tend not to see it. So if someone is being inappropriate with us, perhaps something in the way we acted towards them was inappropriate. Even if we didn’t consider it as such, they may have taken it that way. This does vary person to person, so there is plenty of room for misunderstandings to happen.
When we start to be the change we want to see, amazing things happen. There is a domino effect. If we want more kindness in the world, we show a little kindness to someone. That person will then be inspired to be kind to another and there will be a ripple of kindness going round. We may not see it, but it is there.
If on the other hand we wait for others to change first, we will be waiting for ever. We will be constantly noticing what is not going well and not even notice the positive changes happening around us.
That is one of the things we practise in my online relationship coaching. If you want to try it out, I would love to offer you a powerful coaching call so you can experience it for yourself. It is my gift to you.
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