A relationship can recover from infidelity, but please know you will both have a lot of work to do.
When I hear about infidelity in a relationship, so many questions come to mind. Such as: How was the relationship failing before the infidelity? What needs was the person who was unfaithful trying to fill? Were there other smaller infidelities occurring?
There are many ways to be unfaithful. People always think of physical infidelity. The other most obvious one is emotional affairs. But according to Brené Brown, one of the hardest types of betrayal to deal with is a holding back of one’s heart from your partner. I have written before about the importance of vulnerability. If all your partner wants is connection, and you with-hold your true self, it is almost inevitable that there will be some sort physical or emotional infidelity as a result.
What are some other types of infidelity?
- Working for more than 10 hours a day is a way of escaping and ensuring there is not much room for your relationship;
- Flirting verbally or in any form of communication with another person;
- Using porn or any kind of sexual behavior that does not include your partner;
- Belittling your partner in front of your children or anyone else;
- Keeping a control of the finances and not being open about them.
- Treating your partner as some sort of servant, or inferior to you, instead of cherishing them.
How can the relationship recover from infidelity?
- Both partners need to be honest about what happened. You don’t have to give every detail that might torture your partner, but you do need to share the basic facts.
- Seek help from a professional counselor or coach, because when you try to do it by yourselves, it can lead to more problems such as massive arguments.
- You will need to talk about the reasons for the infidelity.
- Each partner will have to learn to listen deeply to really understand each other.
- You will both benefit from learning to soothe yourself in ways that honor the relationship.
- Be honest with yourself about how you both contributed to the infidelity.
- Intentionally build connection with each other.
If you want any help with recovering from infidelity I invite you to try out a powerful coaching call so you can experience it for yourself. It is my gift to you.
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Feel free to let me know what you think of this. ❤️
Lastly, please spread the love and share with someone who might benefit.