Cultivating Peace

Cultivating peace in our lives is within our control.

Cultivating Peace

We can’t change other people, but we can always change our own attitudes, thoughts and how we behave.

I may have mentioned before that when my sister died I went to her body and said “I’m sorry”, “I forgive you” and “I love you” again and again. This turns out to be very similar to a practice that used in Hawaii called Ho’oponopono.

When there is any lack of peace the person or people involved consider their own share of the blame. Then they say the 4 phrases: “I love you”, “I’m sorry” “Will you forgive me?” And “Thank you”. This emphasizes the importance of offering an apology and receiving forgiveness.  It is especially helpful in romantic relationships because everyone tends to blame their partner for everything.

An exercise for Cultivating Peace

Journaling on these phrases is particularly powerful. Therefore I have developed an exercise where I write “I forgive”, “I am sorry”, “I forgive myself”, “I’m grateful for” and “I commit in love to.”

Below is an example:

I forgive:

  • My father
  • The boys who hit me at school
  • My boyfriends
  • My husband
  • Certain men at church


I’m sorry for not giving enough love to:

  • My parents
  • My sisters
  • My friends
  • My husband
  • My children


I forgive myself for:

  • Having a negativity bias
  • Succumbing to fear and depression
  • Not trying hard enough
  • Not loving myself enough
  • Not respecting myself enough


I’m grateful for:

  • The difference exercise makes
  • The courses I’ve done
  • The coaching I’ve received
  • People’s support on Facebook
  • People being generally good.


I commit in love to:

  • Being loving in all relationships
  • Reaching out to people to affirm and encourage them
  • Believing in the positivity of people
  • Believing that I am loved
  • Trusting in the providence of God.


Finally, I invite you to try this exercise for yourself. You can print out the graphic for this purpose.

My example is undoubtedly very simple. But I encourage you to write as much detail as possible.

Do let me know how it goes. I would certainly love to hear from you.

If you’d like any support with cultivating peace in your life you can book a call here.

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I help women and men like you to love themselves and  connect with their emotionally distant partners, so that they find their happy ever after. I am a Christian but I love working with couples from other faiths too.

I live in the Caribbean with my husband. We have 4 adult children, one dog and two cats.  

Looking forward to getting to know you and helping you to fix your marriage.


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