Do you celebrate your marriage? Recently we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary with presents and a staycation.
Today we will be celebrating the marriage of a young couple. We are going to the wedding of our friends’ son.
I find myself wondering how this couple, who are happy and in love now, will settle into married life. Will they ‘live happily ever after’ like in fairy tales? Or will she have to do all the cooking and become resentful? Will he be jealous of the attention she gives to the children? And sill they become bored with each other? Will one or both of them stray?
But my view of marriage has become jaded after working with unhappy couples. Because the stories I come across are not the story of this young couple having a wedding today. They will make their own story.
These days people enter marriage with more knowledge. They know each other better than in previous generations. More often than not they have lived together, so they know what to expect. And they know more about relationships. Women are more able to stand up for themselves then their mothers were. And men are more open-minded than their fathers.
Divorce rates are going down in developed nations. And weddings are on the increase again. This is a sign of hope. It’s a sign that people still believe in human relationships.
All they need to do is communicate with each other and put each other’s needs first. That’s what we all need to do. By communication, I don’t just mean speak our minds. I also mean listen deeply to each other. So our partner feels heard. And by put each other’s needs first I mean make their needs a priority so that they feel loved. Because if someone feels heard and loved, they will be happy and not stray. And they will make every effort to reciprocate. And we will be happy when we are loving unconditionally. When we love unconditionally, then we are able to celebrate marriage.
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