When you intentionally think of your spouse in a positive way, it can change everything.
If you have left the honeymoon period behind a long time ago and are constantly fed up with your spouse, you might need some help in you changing your mindset.
When we think of our spouse in a negative way, we tend to prejudge them, so that no matter what they do we take it the wrong way. For example if we think of them as critical, we will be on the defensive regardless of how positive they are being. Or if we think of them as selfish, everything they do will appear to corroborate that thought.
On the other hand, if we intentionally think of our spouse with positive thoughts, we can actually change our feelings towards them. This is because the positivity gives us the feel good hormones. We see their words and actions in a better light. There is a change in the way we speak or act towards them. Then their reaction to us is more positive too. It’s a positive cycle.
Can’t think of your spouse in a positive way?
You might find it helpful to consider the things they do for you that you maybe take for granted. Let me give you a personal example. My husband books all the flights for our family. We have four children who live in the UK and we live in the Caribbean. There are a lot of flights to book for Christmas, Easter and summer. He does it in well in advance but somehow extra educational commitments always seem to come up at the last minute. So my husband has to make a lot of changes to the flights. This involves spending many hours on the phone with the airline and it is very slow and frustrating.
I could take this admin for granted, because my husband has always done it. But if I imagine myself on the phone with the airline for ages, I know I would be very impatient and I might let it ruin my day. My husband takes it in his stride and gets it done every time. So it makes sense for me to appreciate him taking this burden on.
There must be similar things that your spouse does for you that you can appreciate. Who cooks most of the meals in your house? Can you be more appreciative about that? Or if you are the one who mostly cooks, can you be positive about the fact that your partner eats what you cook? Imagine the opposite: a spouse who constantly complains and says “This tastes like crap!”
Then again if one of you does have a habit of complaining, perhaps that is where to start. Can you have a conversation about thinking of each other in a positive light?
If you want any help with changing your mindset towards your spouse I invite you to try out a powerful coaching call so you can experience it for yourself. It is my gift to you. What would you like help with?
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Lastly, please spread the love and share with someone who might benefit.