I am who I am. And you are who you are. Marriage is about accepting each other for who we really are.
A lot of people fall in love with a fantasy of who their partner is. If this is you, you may be spending energy trying to change your partner into who you want them to be. But you don’t have to do this! For a happy marriage, you will need to get to know the real person. This certainly takes dedication and patience, but it is worth it. Once you know them, you will have to make the effort to accept them as they are. If you can do that, you will stop wasting energy on trying to change them.
Likewise, you need to be honest about who you really are. If you hide behind an image, there will always be something missing from the relationship. Your partner may not be able to put it into words, but they might have a gut feeling about it. Because I speak from experience, I can tell you that a lack of authenticity prevents emotional intimacy. Nobody can have a meaningful relationship with a cardboard cut out of a person.
How to be more authentic
If you are wondering how to be authentic, you can start by first expressing your feelings and needs honestly. It is important to show vulnerability, as this will encourage your partner to share their emotions with you. Practise validating their emotions and empathising with them. This will help them to feel accepted so that they know they are safe to be vulnerable with you again.
Does this all sound a bit too hard or perhaps unnatural? If you need help with this, you might like to try out some relationship coaching. But don’t expect me to be exactly what you imagine, because I am who I am.
Ask me about relationship coaching today and book a free call to find out how I can help.
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