Make touch a daily habit!
One of the main issues I see in my relationship coaching is a lack of connection. The husband is wondering “Why won’t my wife have sex with me?” Meanwhile the wife is wondering “When will my husband notice me as a person?” It is the age old problem: a woman cannot have sex until she feels a deep emotional connection and a man typically connects through sex.
So what comes first, the sex or the connection? Maybe I’m biased because I’m a woman. But I would definitely say the emotional connection has to come first. Otherwise the woman will feel unvalued like some sort of unpaid service provider. And that does not make for a good marriage!
Many women do not feel safe when their husband touches them. This is because they think “If I let him touch me he will expect sex.” And they don’t feel comfortable having sex. So they push him away altogether. The result is he feels rejected and they both withhold affection from the other.
The answer is to make touch a daily habit
Let a hug just be a hug without expectations of anything else. This will make it feel safe so that it can occur more often.
Then try to have an ongoing dialogue about touch. Such as offering or asking for a hug or a particular type of touch. Agree on how to say yes or no to sex. Understand that it is ok to say no sometimes. As long as it is not all the time.
In my relationship coaching I have pre-prepared sessions dedicated to both non-sexual physical touch and to sex as well.
That is one of the things you can expect in my online sessions. If you want to try it out, I would love to offer you a powerful coaching call so you can experience it for yourself. It is my gift to you.
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