No Such Thing as Failure

No Such Thing as Failure

No such thing as failure

There is no such thing as failure! Everything is an opportunity for growth. And I have had several of those this week. I wonder if you can relate in some way.

From two coaching sessions that didn’t go as well as usual to an incident with my dog, those chances to learn kept coming up for me! I always ask myself “Why did this happen?” and “What can I learn?”

During the first coaching session, I found myself giving advice. Of course I know, and even state in my guidelines that the kind of coaching I do is not giving advice. But there I was handing it out like hotcakes. Why? Because the ‘coachee’ was young and actually asked for it. The result was an underwhelming session. It is so much more powerful to draw out of the client their own insights. That’s why we call it “empowering.” What can I learn? From now on I will remember to verbally set my boundaries about advice giving.

The other atypical session was the next morning. It was one where I let my ‘coachee’ focus on another person’s faults. Again this is something I generally try not to allow, as coaching can only help the person who is asking for help. It is about helping them to change, not changing anyone else! Why did this happen? I believe the reason for my shortfall was the fact that I had not done my morning routine and therefore was insufficiently prepared for the coaching. Bearing in mind that there is no such thing as failure, I looked for what I can learn. The lesson here is to keep to my morning routine every day, because my clients deserve the best from me.

Friday morning, I wanted to take a video and write a post on how fortunate I am to have a park opposite my house. But I couldn’t take a meditative video with my dog pulling on the lead in my hand. So I let her off! Again, this is something I never do. As there was nobody in the park, I didn’t think it would be a big deal.

My dog, delighted with her new found freedom, ran around chasing chickens. I was thankful to be able to make my video in peace. Then I took a few photos. I could hear the chickens clucking frantically. Suddenly there was silence. I called my dog and she didn’t come to me. After a few quiet whistles, I let out some loud wolf whistles. For about half an hour I called and searched. But my dog was nowhere to be seen.

Knowing how helpful people on this island tend to be, I rang the Humane Society. I let them know that someone would probably bring in my dog this morning. Then I waited, hoping she hadn’t run out onto the road and been hit.

Not long after, I heard my front door open. Kanga had decided to come home. She was exhausted from her exertion!

In all three instances, I had gone against the guidelines or norms. Now, I am all for thinking out of the box, but we do also need to consider the consequences of our actions. Skimping on my meditation and exercise is just not helpful, because I have a slow metabolism, so I definitely need to make that effort.

I could beat myself up for these three “failures.” But that is definitely not the point of this post. I truly believe that when things go wrong, it is a wonderful opportunity to improve. If everything went well all the time, we would never learn anything. So that is why I am grateful for these small issues.

I hope you can use this to change your mindset about when you make mistakes. Because, there really is no such thing as failure. Do you remember a time when you learned something important from a silly mistake?

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I help women and men like you to love themselves and  connect with their emotionally distant partners, so that they find their happy ever after. I am a Christian but I love working with couples from other faiths too.

I live in the Caribbean with my husband. We have 4 adult children, one dog and two cats.  

Looking forward to getting to know you and helping you to fix your marriage.


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