Red Rag to a Bull

Red rag to a bull

I love it when people doubt me because it fuels my determination like red rag to a bull.

This morning my husband and I did a 2 mile race. I kept a steady pace which I will call a Geriatric Jog. Before the pandemic, when I was much fitter, I would vary the pace to Ridiculous Run and Courageous Canter. But today it was just a question of finishing the race. I was determined I would do it.

Ironically, having a dog has made me much less fit. My dog is a sprinter and a slow walker. She does not do jogging! Another reason for my lack of fitness is being a coach. Which is also ironic as one of the things I help people with is their fitness. I spend most of my time sitting down, talking to people on Zoom. (Note to self: offer more coaching walks!)

I mentioned this to my husband and he replied, “If you are going to be a coach long term, you will need to bear this in mind.” While I have no doubt that he made the comment with the best of intentions, the “If” still bothered me. You see, I have been talking about being a coach for years and have taken so many courses that giving it up is not an option!

The comment reminded me of the many times I have been to a hardware store and bought a large item. As you may know, I live in the Caribbean. The custom here is that a male employee always helps to push the cart if a customer has purchased a large item. Invariably, regardless of which employee it is, he looks from my vehicle to the large item and sucks his teeth. “There is no way that will fit in there,” he says, or words to that effect. This only makes me more determined to fit it in. Just like red rag to a bull. And there has never yet been a time when I had to concede that it doesn’t fit.

Similarly, any time my car battery needs to be boosted with jump leads, the minute I lift the bonnet or hood, a man appears from nowhere to do it for me. When I say I have done it hundreds of times before, he expresses shock. (It used to be a weekly occurrence as I was procrastinating about taking my car in for maintenance.)  “In fact,” I explain to him “Her Majesty the Queen (may she rest in peace) used to be a mechanic during World War II.” I would add, “If it’s good enough for the Queen, it’s good enough for me.”

I have been avoiding posting about our recently departed Queen because nothing I could say would be enough to do her justice. But I will just say that she had to have determination when she took the throne in 1952. All the politicians in those days were traditional, stuffy, male chauvinists. I am certain that when they showed doubt in her, it must have fuelled her determination.

So if you want any help with being determined, I invite you to try out a powerful coaching call with me. Don’t worry about cost, because this is my gift to you.

Also to get free tips on improving your relationship with yourself as well as your marriage, you can read my other  posts and follow me on Instagram.

Lastly, please spread the love and share with someone who might benefit.





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I help women and men like you to love themselves and  connect with their emotionally distant partners, so that they find their happy ever after. I am a Christian but I love working with couples from other faiths too.

I live in the Caribbean with my husband. We have 4 adult children, one dog and two cats.  

Looking forward to getting to know you and helping you to fix your marriage.


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