If you are anything like me, you will agree that one of the hardest things is saying no!
But saying no does not make you a bad person. It just means that you know your priorities. There are certain things that are important to you, and you are choosing to put them first. If you don’t set boundaries around them, you will say yes to things you really want to say no to. And you will resent that!
You absolutely do have a right to choose what you say yes to and what to say no to. So that you become clear on this, I suggest the following exercise. On a piece of paper make three columns. In the first column, write all your priorities, such as family and work.
In the second column, make a heading “What I Choose to Say Yes to.” Here you will list all the situations where you would like to say yes, even if that means coming out of your routine. For example if a good friend is sick and asks for your help.
Then in the third column, make a heading “What I Choose to Say No to.” Here you will list all the situations where you would like to say no, so that your life is not disrupted. For example if friends of friends want to stay in your house for a week. Think back to situations that have annoyed you in the past.
Over time you can add to these columns as things occur to you. Write down things you can say in those circumstances where you want to say no. Now you have a way of knowing in advance what to say when these situations occur.
Examples of Ways to say No:
Thanks for asking, but no.
Sorry, I don’t have time.
I can’t afford it.
Having thought about it, I have decided not to.
I’m afraid that’s not going to be possible.
I won’t be able to help with that.
I’m too busy right now.
No!
If you want any help with saying no I invite you to try out a powerful coaching call. It is my gift to you. What else would you like help with?
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