Self Love

Self Love

Let’s talk about Self Love. Some people think it’s selfish, but it’s not at all. It is actually essential. I will give you 3 reasons why self love is important and then I will share a journaling exercise. So if you want to do the journaling, you will need your pen and paper before you read on.

Why is Self Love important?

You may have heard that if you don’t love yourself you won’t be able to receive love from others. We take things badly and get offended if we don’t love ourselves. We see everything in a negative way. Once we start to love ourselves, we are much more likely to be more loving to other people and accept them as they are.

Secondly we have emotional needs and we know what they are. And other people don’t know what they are. We can communicate them. But other people can only give us so much. We are better placed to give ourselves what we need.

Often people who are working in service or are mothers give to everyone else, but don’t give to ourselves. Often what we give to others is what we most need.

My third reason why Self Love is important is that when we do love ourselves we flourish. We are more likely to be successful at work, and in our relationships and every area of life.

Self Love Journaling Exercise

  1. What do you love about yourself? For example what qualities do you have? Are you caring? Do you love learning? Are you funny? What other traits do you have?  Are you generous with your money or time? What do you love about your physical appearance? Do you love your eyes? What about your hair? Do you have fantastic long legs? What else can you love about yourself?
  2. When do you feel most confident? What kind of things are you doing when you feel confident? Are there certain activities that make you feel confident? Whenever we do something that we are slightly scared of, it always gives us more confidence. What do other people like about you? How would your family and friends describe you? What are your greatest achievements that you can be proud of?
  3. What would make you happier? What do you need that if you had it, it would make you feel happy? When have you felt happiest? What were you doing? When have you felt the most joyful? Who were you with? When have you felt the most authentically you? Who were you being?
  4. What do you need healing from? Maybe you had some childhood experiences that were traumatic? What do you need to forgive other people for?  Is there anything you need to forgive yourself for? Think about why you deserve to be healed and to be happy.
  5. If you met yourself in the street, what good thing would you wish for yourself? What kind words could you use for yourself? Would you want to give yourself a million hugs? What encouragement could you give yourself? And what positive words could you say over your life?

 

Write a Letter to yourself

Now look at all of your answers. Then write yourself a letter using them.  Start with Dear {your name} and say what you like about yourself. Remind yourself of all your achievements and why you should feel confident. Encourage yourself to do the things that make you happy. Talk to yourself about what you need healing from and whether this is through forgiving yourself or others. Maybe you just need to spend some time in silence in a beautiful place. Lastly, you will finish your letter with a greeting. For example, I wish you happiness in your relationships, I wish you all the best in your work or sending you all my love.

If you’ve written the letter by hand, type it up. Then mull over it for the next couple of days. See how you want to improve it and make it more loving. Then you can print it out. And stick it up somewhere where you will see it often. The other thing you can do is sent it to a website called Futureme.com. Set it for whenever you would like to receive it. On that day you will get a lovely surprise in your email that is full of love.

If you want to know more about loving yourself, you can read The Top Ten Ways to Love Yourself. The more we love ourselves, the more we love others. And it works both ways. The more we love others, the more we love ourselves. It’s a cycle of love!

 

 

 

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I help women and men like you to love themselves and  connect with their emotionally distant partners, so that they find their happy ever after. I am a Christian but I love working with couples from other faiths too.

I live in the Caribbean with my husband. We have 4 adult children, one dog and two cats.  

Looking forward to getting to know you and helping you to fix your marriage.

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