What is the No 1 quality you need in a relationship?
It is not intelligence, presentability or sense of humor! Nor is it good looks, earning power or cooking skills! It is not even maturity, affection or respect. Although all of these are very often qualities that people search for in a mate. No, the number one quality you need in a relationship is vulnerability!
The reason vulnerability is so important is that without vulnerability there is no connection. The two partners remain separate as long as they are not being vulnerable with each other. As soon as they start sharing their fears, worries and sadness with each other, they are opening up their inner world. That is how they become a united team.
But vulnerability is so hard! This is because it is offering oneself up to the other and allowing them to react to us without any advance knowledge or control over their reaction. They have the opportunity to laugh at us, invalidate us or worse use what we say as a weapon in later conflicts. So people tend to avoid the discomfort of vulnerability.
How do we Acquire The No 1 Quality in a Relationship?
In order to be vulnerable we need to trust our partner that they will accept us as we are and not react in an unpleasant or painful way. As Brene Brown says “We need to trust to be vulnerable, and we need to be vulnerable in order to build trust.” And in order to trust them we need to have built up trust over time.
The way to build up trust is to start small by sharing insignificant details about ourselves. As we share small things, we can encourage our partner to do the same. We can lay the foundations for trust by accepting them as they are. From there we can build up to more meaningful conversations that we would not have with anyone else.
Not only is vulnerability important in a romantic relationship, it turns out it is also the No 1 quality you need in a business relationship too.
That is one of the things we practise in my online relationship coaching. If you want to try it out, I would love to offer you a powerful coaching call so you can experience it for yourself. It is my gift to you.
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