Who do you want to be?

Have you ever asked yourself who do you want to be in your relationship?

Who do you want to be in your relationship?

When I asked myself this question, the most obvious answer was to think of my faults and do the opposite. Also to consider my parents’ faults and try to avoid those as well.

Next I thought it is definitely a good idea to communicate with the opposite of John Gottman’s 4 horsemen of the apocalypse. These 4 are criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling. Their exact opposites are praise, not taking it personally, respect and admiration, being fully present. What we can do to avoid them is express feelings and needs, take responsibility, use appreciation and take time to calm down.

Then I thought about it some more. For fun I wrote a list with an adjective for each letter of the alphabet. Check through the list of qualities. We could certainly all do with being a bit more of each of them.

Qualities for who you can become

Affectionate
brave
caring
devoted
encouraging
forgiving
gentle
humble
interested
joyful
kind
loving
magnanimous
nurturing
openminded
peaceful
quiet
respectful
thoughtful
sensitive
thoughtful
understanding
vigilant
willing
xenial (hospitable)
yielding
zealous

Which of these do you need to become? How will you learn to take on those qualities? What else do you need to change? Who do you want to be in the rest of your life? What will it take for you to bring about the necessary changes? And how will you know when you’ve arrived?

These are the kind of challenging questions you can expect in my online coaching. I would love to offer you a powerful coaching call so that you can experience it for yourself. This is my heartfelt gift to you. Because how else would you know if coaching is for you? You will make improvements as a result. And there is certainly no obligation to continue.

But what about INSTANT free tips on improving your marriage and your relationship with yourself? You are more than welcome to follow me on Instagram. That’s in addition to reading my blog. Also feel free to let me know in the comments why you like or dislike this. Because all feedback is helpful.

Lastly, please share with someone who might benefit.

 

 

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I help women and men like you to love themselves and  connect with their emotionally distant partners, so that they find their happy ever after. I am a Christian but I love working with couples from other faiths too.

I live in the Caribbean with my husband. We have 4 adult children, one dog and two cats.  

Looking forward to getting to know you and helping you to fix your marriage.

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